How to FLUNK your OB appointment 101

Yes, you read that correctly.
If you ever needed to know how to flunk an obgyn appointment, then BUCKLE UP baby. 
You're in the right place.

*WARNING..some is of graphic nature...{you know, pee talk and such...}

Let me start out by saying that I am ABOUT 16-17 weeks.
I don't know for sure.  It's just a guessimation.
{little background...you are supposed to know the last date of your cycle, so they {the pro's} can calculate your due date. WEEEELLLLLLLL I dunno my last cycle, exactly. Sometime in February is as close as it gets} This will also count as Fail 3 because, well. It just does. You'll see.
Okay with that said....

That was FAIL 1.

FAIL 2:

The nurse called me back. {that was probably HER fail...HA!}
She handed me a cup, and said she needed a specimen.
I got-all-cocky. I said: " I have peed in many o' cups. So, this will be no problem.
Besides, I have been holding it in for about 2 hours."
I went into the bathroom, I sat the cup on the cart in the bathroom and got all set up.
You know, the toilet paper on the seat deal.
Then began to empty my bladder.
About the time I finished, I looked up and saw it.
THE CUP. Still sitting on the cart. With the top on.
NOWHERE near where it was supposed to be.
I think I sat there for about 2 minutes in disbelief.
What in the world was I going to do?
It was all gone.
I prayed. I begged.
I heard the nurse open the little door looking for my cup about twice.
I managed to get a WEE little bit. {pun intended.}
I put the cup in the door and booked it out to try and explain myself.
I didn't get there first. She just looked at me like I was crazy.
Little did she know that wouldn't be the last time she gave me that look.
I told her what happened, and she kind of chuckled. Kind of.
She put 1 drop in the pregnancy test and then took the litmus paper and literally scraped it on the sides of the cup trying to get it wet enough to do whatever it was supposed to do.
She said "hopefully that will be enough". And PRAISE God, it was!!

FAIL 3:
We got in the interrogation exam room and she asked me when my due date was.
I gave her the same old story that I gave everyone else:
February was a CRAZY, busy month for us and I could in NO way nail down a date. BLAH BLAH BLAH
I said, "as far as I can recall it was around 1 of the girls' birthdays." But they are at opposite ends of the month so that didn't help any. Bummer. But I knew that was coming.
This LACK of information messed up a lot of her questioning and such, because apparently some is based upon where you are in your pregnancy. It was a hurdle we are still to this day dealing with.

Fail 4:

We were talking about previous births.
I told her I delivered Charlotte at 38 weeks and Audrey at 34 weeks.
Because of the 34 weeks information, that put me in a high risk group for preterm labor.
Umm...wait. Hold up.  About 15 minutes later after we had moved on to other questions, I asked her "Did I say I delivered Audrey at 34 weeks or 36 weeks!?" 34 weeks, she replied. "Whoops. I meant 36 weeks. Sorry, does that mess you up again?" Yea. Well, yea a lot. She said.
I told her that she would be soo glad when I walked out that door.
She said she would definitely remember this appointment. FOR SURE.

Fail 5:

I couldn't remember how much either of the girls weighed when they were born. UGH. That's horrible, isn't it? I remember it NOW. I remembered BEFORE. But not THEN. I got the pounds right.  But, not the ounces.
I then told her that she was going to have fun talking about me after I left. She laughed. A knowing laugh.
She said I have excuse though. I was pregnant. I said, little do you know I am like this ALL the time.

Fail 6:

Well, this really isn't a FULL fail because I did it without actually failing. But the setup for it was hilarious.
Maybe just to me and the nurse...but anyway. I digress.
After all the questions were answered and then corrected, she told me I needed to go across the building to the lab. Then she laughed. She LAUGHED at me.
That wasn't it though, she told me that I needed to come BACK to that office to schedule my next appointment.
And, at that, we BOTH laughed.  I may have shed a tear. Or two. We just knew I would find a way to get lost or forget to do one or the other. Or BOTH.

But I did manage to make it to the lab with no problems and BACK to the office!!!!

So there. You thought it was impossible to fail an OB appointment.

I'm studying for the next one.

Baby Bumps in the road....

This pregnancy has been ever so different than my other 2.
I knew within a few days of becoming pregnant that I was pregnant.
Well, I didn't know for sure...but I "felt" like I was.
Then, just as soon as the strip turned pink, the waves of morning sickness
rushed over me.
And didn't really stop until just last week.
I was MAYBE sick 5 minutes collectively with each of the past pregnancies.
This was going to be different.

Went to get a pregnancy test done at the health department, and couldn't even get a due date....
{BUSY February leads to a forgetful Kari...}
I had NO idea when my last cycle was. I knew I had one IN February but other than that, I was blank.


When I finally got my insurance and all in line, I tried to find a good OB.
There was only one that would take me...out of 3 towns.
1 office out of about 10.  It was so frustrating.

When I finally got an appointment with an OB, I then learned that I would be about 16 weeks {by my calculations...and if you know me and math..we DON'T mix} by the time I get in for my first appointment.

Like, I said. I knew this one was going to be totally different. Which has led me and a whole SLEW of other people to believe that I am having a boy. But we will just have to wait WEEKS before we find out for sure.
I even FELT different. But, lately that "different" wasn't feeling right.
That one thought of "something could be wrong" just snowballed in my mind and caused me to stress and to worry. On top of that, I hadn't felt the baby move in about a week, and that worried me.
{I have been an early feeler with both girls before. I felt Charlotte around 11 weeks and Audrey around 10...}
But, especially because I didn't know if I was further along than I calculated and should be feeling the baby MORE often, or if I wasn't that far along and there was nothing to be so worried about.

I called my future OB and practically begged to be seen sooner than the 1st. No such luck.
This place was and IS busy!
Finally after calling almost everyday to 2 different OB offices, one finally told me to go to the ER to get checked out.
What!? You mean, I could have had this whole thing solved about 3 weeks ago!?
I didn't know you could just walk into the ER and say Hey! I'm preggo and I wanna be seen."
And, that's basically what I did this afternoon/evening.

They did an ultrasound..{a QUICK one} basically just to see the baby and check for a heartbeat.
And there WAS a baby and IT's heartbeat was perfect!
The ER doctor told me he couldn't tell by the quick ultrasound exactly how far long I was, but he could tell I was atleast over 12 weeks. So, I was kind of bummed that he couldn't give me a date...but, MY BABY IS FINE!!!

Here is what a 14 week old baby in utero is up to: {again, when I get an actual date, I will change all my e-mail stuff to accomadate..}

14 weeks Baby Elwart

This week's big developments: Your baby can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his thumb! Thanks to brain impulses, his facial muscles are getting a workout as his tiny features form one expression after another. His kidneys are producing urine, which he releases into the amniotic fluid around him — a process he'll keep up until birth. He can grasp, too, and if you're having an ultrasound now, you may even catch him sucking his thumb.


In other news: Your baby's stretching out. From head to bottom, he measures 3 1/2 inches — about the size of a lemon — and he weighs 1 1/2 ounces. His body's growing faster than his head, which now sits upon a more distinct neck. By the end of this week, his arms will have grown to a length that's in proportion to the rest of his body. (His legs still have some lengthening to do.) He's starting to develop an ultra-fine, downy covering of hair, called lanugo, all over his body. Your baby's liver starts making bile this week — a sign that it's doing its job right — and his spleen starts helping in the production of red blood cells. Though you can't feel his tiny punches and kicks yet, your little pugilist's hands and feet (which now measure about 1/2 inch long) are more flexible and active.